Are you the type of person who gets excited about meals scheduled in the distant future? The type of person who has their final death row meal all buttoned up? The sort of individual who could never be in a relationship with a person who doesn’t enjoy food as much as you do, simply because the amount of joy it brings you may be slightly embarrassing?
If so, you’ve come to the right place.
Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it.
— Shower Thoughts (@TheWeirdWorld) December 30, 2018
Overrated: shower sex
Underrated: eating in the shower
— Just another crazy fucker (@gunsblazinjsn) December 30, 2018
ranch is by far the best/most underrated condiment out there.
hear me out:
When you put rice and chicken on your fork and the chicken falls out and you swallow just rice pic.twitter.com/Jo0oUr7Gjr
— milk and henny (@ablsaint) January 3, 2019
Gone from eating pigs in blankets to being a pig in blanket
— Ashley Griffith (@AshleyGriffo_) December 28, 2018
Keto Diet’s cool but have you tried the Cheeto Diet?
— Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) January 3, 2019
Tinder but it matches people that don’t know what they want for dinner with people who will decide what they get for dinner.
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) January 5, 2019
am i the only one who opens the fridge repeatedly hoping that the food ur craving will magically appear
When your parents tell you dinner is ready and you come down and it’s not pic.twitter.com/uQ4IqnoIah
— Emergency Kittens (@EmrgencyKittens) December 29, 2018
Spinach pizza really hits but y’all aren’t ready for this adult conversation.
my daughter really fought me over a damn chicken wing pic.twitter.com/RGd510q3m5
before i eat vs after i eat pic.twitter.com/qBpHAMFIL2
God bless fast food.
God bless slow food.
God bless any kind of
— Beth Moore (@BethMooreLPM) January 4, 2019
You know she comfortable around yo ass if she eat like this in front of you pic.twitter.com/9JJ2Pd4Ujw
— JDBwitTheJuice 💦 (@all_in_yo_girl) January 5, 2019
types of people you shouldn’t trust:
why is cereal still considered a breakfast food when we all know it hits better at night
I swear I go through a phase of literally eating one meal a day and then a few weeks later eating 5 meals a day and pigging out on snacks in between no wonder my body doesn’t know what the fuck is going on
— Zoe McGlade (@ZoeMcglade) January 2, 2019
This why u can’t eat at everybody house! 🤮 https://t.co/yfygMWB0dw
eating avocado toast at 4am maybe i should move to LA
I want a hot body but I also want to eat tamales
I left my car unlocked for 10 minutes to go tanning and someone stole my KFC. They left my wallet…but stole my chicken…
Tonight I picked up a group of girls at Pumphouse for Uber.. I try to accommodate by bringing some McDonald’s chicken nuggets for people to eat. Well.. long story short I made this girl cry because she apparently “Loves nuggs with all of her heart!”
— Easton Herring△⃒⃘⚯͛ (@EastonHerring) December 30, 2018
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My favorite part of going out to eat is acting like I’ve never met food before. Bread?? Complimentary? On my table?! How exotic. How fucking foreign. Brëd? Bręæd? Is that Latin? Nice to meet you.
— ditch pony (@molly7anne) December 28, 2018
When the bbq sauce slightly caressin the macaroni pic.twitter.com/o92Lngye6k
— Big Gengar (@PushupSensei) January 2, 2019
If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?
— J o n a t h a n (@JonathanJoly) January 5, 2019
At what point do you stop using “it’s the holidays” as an excuse to keep eating?
— Hailee Steinfeld (@HaileeSteinfeld) December 28, 2018
This would be a dope ass Valentine’s Day gift pic.twitter.com/jE99n90OfG
When your order number is 59 & they just called 43 pic.twitter.com/RYbhwBfOd1
— Charles J. Moore (@charles270) January 4, 2019
Me: *gets comfy with a FAT plate of food and turns on Netflix*
Walking out of 5 guys after spending $60 on a burger and a paper bag full of fries pic.twitter.com/qGrLI58Gkw